


The Talk

by lightblue_Nymphadora



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Big Sis Tonks, Can you imagine Teddy finding out about this, Tonks at Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 09:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightblue_Nymphadora/pseuds/lightblue_Nymphadora
Summary: Tonks has to do her duty as a big sister to the Hufflepuff girls. No good deed....





	The Talk

Tonks was wandering through the shelves of the library, restocking books. It was a cushy job - you could go at your own pace, and if you were the reading type, you got a lot of good book recommendations. Plus, Madam Pince liked her for some odd reason. Charlie Weasley swore up and down that Pince was probably Tonks’s twin when she was at Hogwarts. 

She got finished with her first stack of books, and waved her wand to summon the next set to the top of the trolley. As she turned the corner, she heard the faint but distinct voices of some of her young Hufflepuff sisters. 

“No, Clarissa,” the voice of Mathilda Cromwell whispered. “You don’t pee out of that hole.”

Tonks stood perfectly still, trying to ascertain if she heard what she thought she heard. 

“But Clarence Buxby said that -”

“If he puts it in, you’ll get pregnant! That’s why you -”

Tonks listened in horror as the third years discussed their bodies, boys’ bodies, and the hopeful intersections between the two. Finally, when Agatha and Lavernia started arguing over some...interesting...types of natural birth control, Tonks decided she needed to step in. She walked over to the small alcove and tried not to scare the girls. It didn’t work - they jumped when she walked up. 

“Afternoon, ladies,” Tonks said, trying like hell to keep her hair a neutral color. 

They stayed quiet. 

“I...er...couldn’t help overhearing….” She cut off when the girls began to groan. “Listen, I’m not here to embarass you. There are some things you need to know. Starting with, Clarissa, no, you _don’t_ piss out of your vagina.” Tonks summoned one of the roaming chalkboards and began to draw a detailed diagram. 

“This isn’t happening,” Mathilda whispered.

“Look, I can give you this talk, or I can march you off to Pomfrey and Sprout,” Tonks threatened. When all of them frantically shook their heads, she smiled and continued. “Right...now, let’s start with a few basics.”  
*

Tonks found Charlie down near the lake, relaxing with the giant squid. She flopped down next to him and closed her eyes. 

“Knut for your thoughts?” Charlie said. 

“I got caught giving the Talk to some of the third years,” she replied. 

“And?” Charlie sniggered. “Who caught you?”

“Sprout and McGonagall.”

“So how long are you in detention?”

“Oh...I’m not. It’s worse…. I have to give Healthy Witch workshops to the first through third years.”

Charlie’s laughter rolled across the lake, even as Tonks got the squid to splash him.


End file.
